Perception

Testing my Tumblr out.

Sometimes people just deviate their interests to someone else. Like, you are a frame of yesterday, with the other someone, a sense of belonging to be filled.

One step forward, two steps back.

So, I have decided to make my Tumblr into a kinda’ blog, or something like that. ‘Cause i figured, Tumblr is rather full of “emo” people and things and quotes and pictures and photos. And, I hardly write about anything, happy nor sad. But now that I’m bored and I figured it’d be good too if I could just you know, speak a piece of my mind here.

Okay, let me start off with this. I was having my daily routine, or rather, alternate daily routine, I worked out, and as always, I took twenty or thirty minutes to cool down after working out before I head for the showers. The moment when I was cooling down, I stared at the blue sky. A lot was running through my mind, with the soft wind slapping on my face. And he can never seem to be off my mind when all I wanted was just to maybe clear my head from anything at all. I don’t know why, but, I’m the one controlling whatever I want to think of right?

And so, like I said, a lot was running through my mind. I was thinking of when we haven’t started. That was when this word “IF” popped in my head and I thought, this word could have made a huge difference to what we both have now become. I can’t seem to recall on what we were fighting for, maybe because it’s the fights and quarellings that I do not want to have as memories? But never have I denied that we both had argued over small matters all the time.

After all those creeping through my thoughts, I must say the compromise and tolerance we had were like magic. I remembered there was once when we fought so badly we both could hardly sleep at night. With tears on my pillow, and with my phone shut down trying to get some peace. I remembered waking up in the middle of the night to check on my phone, to see if there was anything, anything at all from him. YES! There were something from him. And I have to say, they were SWEET!

Yes, things went real bad after that. I was tired of hanging on to it, when all he wanted was to call it quit. I was driven by anger, so was he. Can u believe it? I was the happiest person on earth when I get any text from him, ‘til the fight when I was literally shivering whenever my phone rang, hoping not to read what he had to say. And the thought of fighting over on FB was really ridiculous. If only I could undo that part, I would. I’m not blaming it on anyone. I was just reflecting on what they were doing to me. All I know was I can’t let my family being pulled into this, and my friends. ‘Cause I know, things get worse when so many come into the picture. But I’ve definitely learnt a lot from what happened. And I would definitely put it to practice during the second time around.

All I’ve known is that being in a relationship, we just can’t hold on to it too tight. BUT, the commitment to hang on to it must be there. And, I’ve to say ex-es aren’t mistakes, but they’re lessons learnt or rather, otherwise.

Jo.